If Baudelaire were an Estate Agent…
- Details

The theme for this year’s #worldpoetryday was to write in tribute to Charles Baudelaire, who said: ‘Always be a poet, even in prose.’
I call this one: If Baudelaire were an Estate Agent…
A Three Bedroom Semi Det…. No wait a sec…. A stunning – no, wait;
for even the word ‘stunning’ does little to capture
the almost otherworldly grandeur
of this three bedroom – wait, not ‘three bedroom’….
does little to capture
the almost otherworldy grandeur
of this thrice dormitoired semi-detached –
no… hang on… thrice dormitoired 1930’s home –
no, Arts and Crafts era residence –
sitting in a state of permanent reciprocal neighbourly caress – love it….
Here on the edge of town… no no no…. poised like an angel traversing two worlds in this place,
where town meets country…
Right let’s go again…
Even the word ‘stunning’ does little to capture the almost otherworldly grandeur of this thrice dormitoired Arts and Crafts era residence, sitting in a state of permanent reciprocal neighbourly caress, poised like an angel traversing two worlds in this place where town meets country.
The entrance portal, as if a passage from one to another plane of being, opens into a welcoming expanse, the rising treads of its balustraded stairway ascending heroically to the plateau of the first floor.
There is a cupboard beneath.
To the right of the sanctuary of welcome is a capacious auditorium, almost belligerently boasting a spectacular focal point, alcoves respectfully a step behind to either side, and shelved, and there a fireplace, resplendent, perfect, a feature to transport that primordial part of our human minds back to the comfort and security of the firesides of our distant past. TV point.
As we pass to the rear of this domus we encounter the modern spectacle of the Kitchen/Diner, replete with gracefully edged counters, a playful iridescence atop their Formica surfaces, and the utilities of modern life integrated in symbiosis within the Kitchen units; the family oriented dining area is framed by double doors in a style reminiscent of our continental near-neighbours, presenting to the casual observer a glimpse into the ordered majesty of the gardens, bringing to mind Ancient Babylon, or at least Notcutts spring-time display. Outside tap.
Back within the domain, as we land on the uppermost storey we are presented a lottery choice of four bevel-panelled doors, three of which lead to the comfort of nocturnal refuge, the fourth to a white panelled and freshly enamelled bathing place available for the whole family and any visiting guests. The largest habitation is located to the front of the edifice, an array of built in cabinetry offering an abundant sanctuary for clothes and other chattels. TV point.
There are two further night time preserves, the one a near imitation of its front facing cousin; the other perhaps deceptive in its initial appearance, with room to berth as well as, one trusts, an ideal space for one’s offspring to study with great diligence for those all important SATS. Loft hatch.
EPC Rating: C
Council Tax: D
Tenure: if a tenure were a hold, it would in this case be free.
Viewing recommended.